Ira Procuratio

If you are one of my close friends or have spent a lot of time with me over the past year you will know that sometimes i can get very easily agitated. Little things make me angry or stressed, and it's not something i can help, or like.
For my new years res i promised that i would try and be calmer and to not let little things bother me. Needless to say, as all new year resolutions do, it went down the pan after about a week. But lately i've been thinking and i really should learn to not get soo stressed over things. Somebody said to me the other day 'life is too short..' and it made me think, a lot. Is life too short to be upset or angry ? Should we resist holding grudges or voicing opinions in fear of upsetting people.. because 'life is too short' ?
Amongst close friends i find myself to be the one that says what everyone else was thinking. I'm the one people nudge and say 'ask if we can do this..' or 'will you tell them for me..' and i sometimes think its a good thing, that i'm not afraid to stand up for myself. In school i was bullied and would never stand up for myself, i was the quietest girl in my group of 'friends'. Now i've grown up a bit and learned to make myself heard, i feel relieved to be able to get things off my chest and not be afraid of what others might think. But on the other hand i sometimes feel like life just might be too short to pick up on little things and to argue over what others might let slide. It's a tough one.
I live with my grandparents and when i was younger i saw their house as a haven, where i was spoiled rotten with endless biscuits and pocket money and i could do anything i pleased. Now i'm older and i don't exactly see eye to eye with them all the time. But i've learned to keep my mouth shut, and to just let it go over my head. I've seen my friends scream and argue with their parents to no avail, and i've noticed it's much easier to just nod along. This being said, i bitch about it endlessly when i'm not around them, but that does no harm. That causes no arguments. It's just me moaning. Why can't i do that with everything else ? I've poured drinks in peoples faces, i've screamed in peoples faces, mostly because of little pathetic things, or because of something they've done or said to a friend. Why do i feel the need to fight other people's battles ? I have a feeling it comes from things i've seen or heard in past years, more deep rooted things but i wont go into that. You shouldn't let the past bother you. Because after all, life is too short, isnt it ?